Archive
Ancient Pimpsteaks:
| 08.19.2009 “Apparently someone on this plane shit on the com unit and now we can’t communicate with the tower. Now we can’t fuckin land.” Beasly whispers. Mirna Lou whispers back. “Well if this things going down, I wanna die fukkin.” Beasly… |
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| 07.13.2008 Julius worked part time at a gas station. He took people’s credit cards and pushed them in and pulled them out of the gas pumps. Fill regular. Ten dollars of premium. He hated the job.  Sometimes there were nice people… |
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| 04.16.2008 Artie had gas once again. It had been five years since he last had gas but it was back with a serious attitude now. Now his gas was trying to kill him and anyone he got close to. His hamster… |
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| 01.26.2008 There once was a piece of cat terd named Jarvis. Jarvis was long and coiled with a goatee of mouse fur. He was drinking beers under a piece of bark with a couple other terds when Ralph came through the… |
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| 10.12.2007 Dr. Plow was more than happy to join the expedition. He had been the point man on several forays into the unknown, so it was natural that they asked him. But the price they were willing to pay made him… |
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| 10.10.2007 “Now that I’m out of rehab it’s time to get laid,†said Harv. Harvey had been in a clinic for two weeks for his addiction to hookers and strip clubs. “You better not,†said Madge, his mom, while they drove… |
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| 10.09.2007 You might wonder if a man with a two centimeter penis has trouble satisfying women. But Barry “Super Tiny Wang” Vlasco is not your typical man. And the fact that he’s getting it reduced by a half centimeter seems unlikely… |
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| 10.08.2007 Gary drove his tractor over the rows of cabbage. He loved cabbage. He loved everything about it. Gary remembered the day he made love to his first cabbage. He saw the cabbage from across the country store. It was staring… |
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| 01.01.2007 Larry pounded the rest of the forty and started the truck. He drove up the hollow to Myrtle’s triple wide. She was home. Larry flipped the glove compartment and grabbed his rubbers. Myrtle heard the door forced open. Milton didn’t…. |
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| 12.16.2006 The most beautiful woman in the universe does not have size forty seven tits. She does not have an ass shaped like a cherry. And she does not suck golf balls through garden hoses for recreation. In fact she is… |
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| 11.21.2006 The last time we talked I was under the influence of fart gas. So please don’t take too much of it to heart. A lot has changed since then. I had my sphincter insured for four bucks in case it… |
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| 11.02.2006 It’s been over a decade since I filmed WeedMasters III: Power Stoned. Recently I found some slides of the filming and had them scanned. Here is one of them. That’s me in the back with a 300 dollar video camera… |
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| 10.24.2006 Plungers In The Mist. Saxon practices his plunge techniques on top of Mt. Tabor. |
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| 09.22.2006 Jeff crawled out of bed with a boner. He closed the window. A bum was yelling about potatoes in the alley below him. Jeff opened the window back up and pissed on him. “Are you peeing?†Myrna asked. She flipped… |
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| 09.08.2005 When I start shaking from weed overblast I try to focus on an old memory and play it over and over. Distorting it and chuckling to myself until I get cottonmouth and then I head to the fridge and start… |
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| 09.02.2005 Shit man you saved my ass. I was so fukin nervous like you predicted. The motel didn’t have a record player so I pre-recorded it into my iPod. Thank the devil. The iPod was playing Sade and things were going… |
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| 08.10.2005 Blaine opened up the deep freezer. “Hey Artie, what’s with all the turds?” “Don’t eat them,” said Artie “They’re for my scatology class.” “So you’re keeping that class, I thought the teacher was a dick?” “He is, but I got… |
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| 07.18.2005 Packmaster, I really admire the way you can carve tang. But even though you were a player in college doesn’t mean that you’ve won. Sure, fuk them across the room when you think I’m sleeping. But I have found something… |
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| 07.15.2005 I often wake up to cats fukin on the roof. We used to have a neighbor that was really loud having sex. Either that or the glass I held against the wall was tits. After I get home from the… |
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| 07.13.2005 I just picked a hard skinny bugur and scraped it under the table. The end had a sticky little drop that held it on. I’ve got pretty mean cotton mouth now. I’ll probably destroy the refrigerator soon. All the convenience… |
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| 07.06.2005 “You do not let reject by butchery right in front of and take a room on the floor,” yelled Aunt Purvis. Was it me or the cat tranquilizers? At times Aunt Purvis has been known to mix up her words… |
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| 06.30.2005 Sometimes it feels like there is a little hammer carving a mural of Hervé Villechaize on the inside of my skull. Sometimes I like to get stoned and do nothing. Just watch the same thing over and over. And then… |
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| 06.20.2005 A pig’s dick is shaped like a corkscrew. When we would visit my cousins in the country, they had a bunch of randy pigs that they would let loose at the fair. The whole town would be filled with holes… |
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| 06.17.2005 You’ve got to be an idiot to think that there aren’t any space creatures out there. Whether they are nice or not probably depends on how we end up on this planet. Those fukers are watching. Betting. Waiting. Waiting to… |
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| 06.14.2005 What’s the sound of a thousand rabbits shitting in your ear? Purkin was a nature freak. He could track sparrows by the thickness of the shit on the branches. Everywhere he traveled he would collect turds. He had what was… |
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| 06.11.2005 I was just five years old when I got my first kiss by a hot chick. Her name was Leslie. She won best handwriting for the entire grade. My best friend back then was a wino named Jerry. He would… |
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| 06.07.2005 Continued from previous day INT. LIVING ROOM JEB (cont’d) (still reading letter) Now I find out I was just a front so that you could cornhole squirrels without being suspected. Well this isn’t the life I dreamed of when I… |
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| 06.06.2005 INT. DARK STAGE Spotlight is on a dude. He walks to the center and gives monologue. JEB I cornholed four hundred and thirty two squirrels last year. Only half were strapped down. I did all this because the devil… |
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| 06.03.2005 Sometimes I just want to crawl over the phone line and reach down someones ear, pull their dick inverted back through their mouth and yank their balls through so they hang out their eye sockets. I just got off the… |
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| 06.02.2005 Barry woke up tied to the rafters of a giant igloo. A penguin with five dicks was getting a manicure in front of him. Another penguin walked in with a wingfull of bamboo spikes and a small cage. It set… |
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| 06.01.2005 Earnie’s Strip Club Laundromat was Barry’s favorite place to go after work. The women’s field hockey team washed their clothes there. The first night Barry went there he caught the eye of a young philly performing on the pommel horse…. |
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| 05.31.2005 I jumped awake and pulled my nunchaku from under my pillow. There was someone in the house. I slipped into my “game of death†suit and put on my Bruce Lee mask with night vision. There was a noise from… |
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| 05.27.2005 Charblok was having the shittiest day of his entire life. He woke up with two transvestites teabagging his eyesockets and a cocker spaniel cornholing his ear. When he finally fought his way out of bed and made his first cup… |
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| 05.26.2005 Hey, you. Pile of turkey felch. Aren’t you that dude on the bus thats always falling over next to the stairs? No. I’m that dude that stinks like aardvark piss that uses that six month old ticket stub. The guy… |
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| 05.25.2005 And they were off. Catmunch and Blorthog were probably two of the finest free roasters in the northwest territories. Catmunch was bongloading hash as it was dropping out of a camel’s ass. Blorthog was slamming toad piss and hotboxing a… |
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| 05.24.2005 Where K-Bork grew up, cornholing was considered a sport. Once you got a boner you were expected to skewer a gopher. That was considered training and it still is. After a week, when someone graduated from packing ground dwellers, they’d… |
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| 05.23.2005 “BIRD DICK!” Parker just liked the way the words sounded. He kept yelling it out his apartment window for everyone to enjoy. Pretty soon everyone was yelling “BIRD DICK!” Before too long, the whole city had caught “BIRD DICK” fever…. |
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| 05.20.2005 As I walked from the crack house, I had to struggle with an overpowering urge to run to the brothel and slap the whole pile of hundreds on the counter. “Gimme the works! And make it snappy.” I would say…. |
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| 05.19.2005 “Zaxxxor you miserable ox felcher. If I catch you near my spellbook again, I’ll fry your nuts off with a blast from my Cudgel of Necrosis!” Ralph rolled the twenty sided dice and prepared to inflict some damage points. Walter… |
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| 05.18.2005 Archie Bluto was a fukin brute. A real fukin brute. He was the meanest man in five counties. Some days he would walk into a small village and cornhole everything that wasn’t bolted down. Other days he would wake up,… |
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| 05.17.2005 Fukin me an my brohog Lithium were fukin poundin the wizard piss. I’d crack a bottle and toss it down and fukin be flyin. Then Lith would power down two bottles. Then I slammed three. This went on for about… |
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| 05.16.2005 Wilson felt fukin incredible. He felt better than incredible. Today was the best fukin day of his life. He now had the ultimate power. What all humanoids dream about. Well not all humanoids. At least all the ones that lived… |
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| 05.13.2005 I was firing out a hot piss in the men’s room when a barrage of metallic fart sounds pounded out of the shitters. Then something yelled and launched up through the ceiling. I kicked the stall open and there was… |
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| 05.12.2005 “Run, don’t walk to your nearest crack dealer cause there’s never been a sale like this!” When I heard that ad on the radio I wondered who was the idiot behind this? I need more crack hits like I need… |
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| 05.11.2005 Huffing: The Sport of Kings I remember being a kid getting high on model glue. I had a Daisy Duke C-10 Jeep Eagle that I was assembling in a little laundry room in the basement of my Aunt and Uncle’s… |
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| 05.10.2005 When I first humped Norma Jean she was working in the library and had five of her front teeth missing. I was hunting down a book on taxidermy and she walked me over to the correct aisle. She leaned over… |
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| 05.09.2005 It was obvious. We were fucked. Our bad luck started forty eight hours ago when Lithium Jim decided that we should rob a house. We were fukin cruizin on our BMX bikes, poppin wheelees, bunny-hopping curbs, kicking-out our back tires… |
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| 05.05.2005 Larry knew the minute he opened the window, he’d be caught. You’re not supposed to smoke weed at the Greasy Woodchuck Retirement Home. Well fuck. Larry’s weed was being bought by the state cause of his condition. The weed helped… |
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| 05.05.2005 “All I can recommend is that you stop plowing those squirrels. Your dick is gonna fall off if you keep up this routine. It’s just a matter of when. Now if you’re still gonna fuck land mammals, despite everything we… |
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| 05.04.2005 I get a lot of mail asking the same question; How does one become a weed junkie? It’s not easy but it is possible with a lot of hard weed smoking and some powerful determination. Anyfuk, here’s the advice that… |
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| 05.03.2005 No one wants to wake up to see their dad fucking the Easter Bunny. I was at Indian Scout camp and all the dads were staying up late pounding beer. I wiped my ass with a loaf of steel wool…. |
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| 05.01.2005 It was measuring up to be a pretty fukin sporting evening. I was gargling teats since noon. I have no idea where my brohogg was. Probably spearin something. It wasn’t my business what he was drilllin. I was busy boring… |
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| 04.28.2005 I swallowed the bag of grass just before the door blew open. Five cops piled into the room. I dropped into the fetal position and they ran past me. My breathing became harder. I crawled behind the sofa and chewed… |
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| 04.28.2005 JT always laughed when Billy said “poongristle.” Sometimes in class, after the teacher asked a particularly difficult question, Billy would raise his hand and bounce in his seat as if he had the answer. The teacher would grudgingly call on… |
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| 04.25.2005 The sign said “Thank You for your business!” I wanted to rip that sign down, cut it into ninja stars and give the guy a cannibal turd/ninja star enema. But I did what any controlled, normal member of civilized society… |
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| 04.25.2005 Henry waited until she got into her car. She was pretty for her age, though that wasn’t Henry’s main motivation. He was attracted to her because of her money. She grew up in the house behind him, though then had… |
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| 04.24.2005 It was a powerful feeling. J.C. had never killed another human being before. He crouched over the body and ran his hands through the blood. He smeared a little bit on the guys face and then stood up. “Let that… |
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| 04.21.2005 “Wait one chicken fukin second fukram, what is your sock doing in my glovebox?” said Wilson. “I was using it to huff the tire inflator,” said Sir Jenkinz. “Oh. Well throw it away when you are done. If my… |
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| 04.21.2005 Billy Joe Pooloafer was probably the last guy I expected to see climbing off my wife. Our breakup had started some five years ago. I remember the exact moment, I was headed out of town on a business trip. If… |
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| 04.20.2005 Water Hawk. In days of yore and times of pain there lived a giant with a taste for freezer eagle. He woke every morning and pillaged the townsfolk. He pawned off half the shit he scored and then hid the… |
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| 04.18.2005 “You can take that scurvy dick and your sallow ass cheeks and skittle the fuck back into your shitty car and back to your shitty planet and drink all the beer you want. But on this planet we don’t do… |
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| 04.17.2005 Are you one of those paranoid druggees? Are you always checking out the window to see if the cops are ready to bust down your door? Have you ever found a bug hidden in your taxidermy? I have to sweep… |
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| 04.14.2005 Anyone who can synthesize a feeling of power and confidence in a pair of ajax cans can share my enthusiasm for total clarity. A person who can honestly shove grapes into three pairs of wooden sox can surely appreciate my… |
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| 04.13.2005 Young and single equals idiot. I am a complete super idiot. I am a fukin turbo drunk. I wake up on street corners or behind dumpsters at least three days a week. I work all week and then when Thursday… |
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| 04.13.2005 Diarrhea swans paddling down the stream with kegs of prune juice. Greased zebra taking a dump in a plastic bag. Zebra dropping the bag of poo onto swans. Swans pulling out lazer crossbows and pounding the zebra full of poison… |
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| 04.10.2005 We were sitting at the border waiting for the inspectors to check our luggage. I was wearing a lime green seer-sucker suit with a bear skin ascot. My wife was dressed tastefully in a mesh jumpsuit. The inspector waved us… |
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| 04.09.2005 Lumpy sat on the curb building a dam for the gutter water. He set up his army men on the top of the dam and had a couple snipers aiming down from the curb. The water came slowly. It was… |
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| 04.08.2005 The fukin guitar was screaming its bloody lyrics. I was fukin headbanging this RV. My forehead felt like it was gonna explode but it was worth it. The fukin music was driving me out of my head. I just kept… |
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| 04.07.2005 Darfzox was jettisoning some cargo when his light-spackler coughed to a stop. He didn’t see the service cannibals doing knee spins on his roof. They zip lined down and put him in hand cuffs. He was under arrest for speed… |
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| 04.06.2005 Have you noticed any signs of the coming apocalypse? Anything you are trying to keep secret? I am. I saw something last week that scared me shitless. I was up late powering down the lids. It was probably three thirty… |
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| 04.05.2005 2-4-6-8 Hookers. Prepare to herneate. We were lined up in stalls. My nutsack only weighed 2wo pounds. I slipped a quarter in the machine and punched in the code for a triple. I closed my eyes and flipped the switch…. |
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| 04.04.2005 Jerry was just hanging out by the river reading a soft-core porn novel. Jasmine was the heroine in the novel. She solved crimes by boning winos. Jerry was sitting there chuckling with a boner. This lazy fukin afternoon was going… |
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| 03.31.2005 A handy tip for those of you who are remodeling your brain. Take one of those classes where they teach you how to sleep and eat correctly. I made the mistake of trying to do it with a book. I… |
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| 03.30.2005 ALLEN: Fuk Dan. If you’re gonna blaze my last nugget at least put some beef jerkey in there or something. DAN: I didn’t touch your weed. I saw your cat blasting into it this morning though. ALLEN: Did you actually… |
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| 03.28.2005 I’m standing at the space station. Its very crowded. My Unkle Fukrod and I were gonna blast into space this morning but the launch computer had to be rebooted. So I’m just standing here totally bored. Theres a guy with… |
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| 03.27.2005 Rork pulled out the partially smoked blunt and handed it over to Pargo. Pargo slipped it into his jacket pocket and said thanks. Pargo crouched down behind the dumpster and bonged it down in a Sobe bottle. He caughed and… |
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| 03.18.2005 Larry, if I have to pick up that com unit and call your wife again you’re gonna be sorry. Either you power down that pile of weed or you pay your tab and get out of here. Larry had… |
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| 03.12.2005 When all you think about is shit. |
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| 09.24.2004 Jerry was the biggest player in the retirement community. Bar none. |
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| 09.18.2004 Reading of the full script of Kobok Six: Janitors on Acid Pt. 3 of 4 |
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| 09.14.2004 I was powering down the bongloads at my Unkle Charlie’s last weekend. Unkle Chuk is the meanest weed smoker I have ever smoked against. |
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| 07.22.2004 Smokin grass in the Big Apple. |
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| 07.05.2004 Reading of the full script of Kobok Six: Janitors on Acid Pt. 2 of 4 |
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| 06.24.2004 Reading of the full script of Kobok Six: Janitors on Acid Pt. 1 of 4 |
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| 06.17.2004 One day after seeing a drug speaker at school assembly, we all went upstairs to raid the medicine cabinet. |
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| 06.15.2004 He ripped through that one and than blasted another two more and then got back to shining the floor. |
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| 06.05.2004 Quit blasting merkin paste on my camera lens! |
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| 05.30.2004 Most kids got a dog. My parents got me a fukin sloth. So I built him a mini bong. |
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| 10.15.2003 Gorbak 7 When a pharmaceutical transport jacknifes into an asteroid field, two drug fiends set out to score the ultimate stash. But are they already too late? |
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| 04.14.2003 Robotic Midgets in gorilla suits come by and mechanically inject everyone with H. |
| 04.11.2003 But if you were to fill a bean bag full of dumps and throw it into the pool, that would be OK. |
| 04.09.2003 Swarkman hits a button and the gibbon rectums start breakin’. |
| 04.08.2003 Give it a try. Your lungs will thank you. |
| 04.07.2003 Sure he was glad to have the job, but his heart ached to be bowling again. |
| 04.04.2003 Was I cool? |
| 04.03.2003 Are you sick of these guys yet? |
| 04.02.2003 I’m not much of a boob guy, but last night. |
| 04.01.2003 Offer someone a joint and you’ve made yourself a pal. |
| 03.31.2003 Jerry. Welcome to the future. |
| 03.28.2003 Jerry. Can I say twins? |
| 03.27.2003 Jerry. I’m in love. I’m getting fukin married. |
| 03.26.2003 Hello. Idiot. Where are you? |
| 03.25.2003 Jesus Christ Jerry. You gotta get up to Gorbak 7 NOW! |
| 03.24.2003 Kobok Six behind the scenes, clip #4. |
| 03.21.2003 In our relentless pursuit of quality, The Pukester has come up with this gem. |
| 03.20.2003 Kobok Six behind the scenes, clip #3 |
| 03.19.2003 Kobok Six behind the scenes, clip #2 |
| 03.18.2003 Kobok Six behind the scenes, clip #1 |
| 03.17.2003 Turdblaster aka Saxon’s Theme, music video from Kobok Six: Janitors on Acid |
| 03.14.2003 Episode 01.05 of Dimension 47. |
| 03.13.2003 Episode 01.04 of Dimension 47. |
| 03.12.2003 Episode 01.03 of Dimension 47. |
| 03.11.2003 Episode 01.02 of Dimension 47. |
| 03.10.2003 Episode 01.01 of Dimension 47. |
| 03.07.2003 Maybe one of the ladies next door can sport me a free one. |
| 03.06.2003 Old General Sherman got a workout too. |
| 03.05.2003 Debauchery has a new kind of hero! |
| 03.04.2003 Which one are you? |
| 03.03.2003 I’ve had the fortune to fry my brains out on Kamtrox Aarvog. |
| 02.28.2003 He sparked up the blowtorch. “Care for a little woodchuck?” |
| 02.27.2003 “I’ll get the croutons.” Bill’s night had just begun. |
| 02.26.2003 I looked like someone from Depeche Mode and that was the basis of our relationship. |
| 02.25.2003 And Rat Fuk was becoming more of a dick as the days grew on. |
| 02.24.2003 I had a large fro and a cape and a couple of weasels around my neck. |
| 02.21.2003 He knew that an office full of college chicks would keep us happy. |
| 02.20.2003 Make sure you calibrate your scale for the specific planet that you are visiting. |
| 02.19.2003 Beef Meat had brought over some pcp. |
| 02.18.2003 Murgdorfgupmugmug bruf reep reep houga monfo. |
| 02.17.2003 Wrap some carnivore in a large ham tuxedo and watch them eat their way out. |
| 02.14.2003 I am hobbling through musty woods. |
| 02.13.2003 Where’s the character of America. Has mass media diluted the gene pool? |
| 02.12.2003 Great Deals on Taxidermy! Click for more. |
| 02.11.2003 Holy fukballs! Part two of this amazing cartoon! |
| 02.10.2003 Oh shit! Another world class cartoon. |
| 02.07.2003 Gorbak 7. We’d be happy to have ya. |
| 02.06.2003 Just north of Beef Meat’s Tackle Shop. |
| 02.05.2003 K-Bob. You’d better come quick. |
| 02.04.2003 “What the fuck is in that muskrat?” |
| 02.03.2003 When was the last time you had shit particles filling up your fukin lungs? |
| 01.31.2003 FINAL EPISODE of Harry the Limp Dick Sasquatch! |
| 01.30.2003 EPISODE THREE of Harry the Limp Dick Sasquatch! |
| 01.29.2003 EPISODE TWO of Harry the Limp Dick Sasquatch! |
| 01.28.2003 EPISODE ONE of Harry the Limp Dick Sasquatch! |
| 01.27.2003 Harry takes on an army of topless hookers! |
| 01.24.2003 He pulled on the gorilla suit and prepared his lungs for a fogblast of Humbolt’s meanest. |
| 01.23.2003 Remember. A bozak is only as good as its hydraulics. |
| 01.22.2003 Most know me as Karate Dick Hinkelson. Rotdick for short. |
| 01.21.2003 An elf in the first house was busy rotating a squirrel tank. |
| 01.20.2003 The psychadelic astronauts let the wind out their nostrils and held their breath. |
| 01.17.2003 Zorf and the Exploding Pudgrease Jubilee. |
| 01.16.2003 Beef leprichaun. |
| 01.15.2003 Coo coo for chicken felch. |
| 01.14.2003 Greased beefer. |
| 01.13.2003 I peered into the cloud of cannibals in the passing dust formation. |
| 05.05.2000 Listen up Bluto Dick! I got a hankerin to fuck a god damn chicken and there is nothing that you or the lock on that chicken coop can do to stop me! |
| 04.17.2000 Don’t go chowin on some poon gristle. Poon gristle poon gristle. |
| 04.14.2000 Taco pops, aka queefs, are the number one cause of hearing loss among the viagra crowd. |
| 04.13.2000 Today’s pimpsteak cancelled due to extreme chicken fucking. |
| 04.12.2000 Snipers dancing on a sweet log of poo. Dwarves and halflings chomping on barbarian shit. Sour turds of the rogue. Dragonfire of rotting fecal overburn. Stuff an orc pussy into your ear. |
| 04.11.2000 There I was downing a can of dog shit, just minding my own business, when Rhino Queefs Jensen, the poolman, comes runnin up to me and says, “I’ll bet the grease from eight gipsy’s buttholes that you can’t fart without blasting a stewburger out of your rectum.” Cat salad. |
| 04.10.2000 Man, I was smoking mushrooms underneath the freeway when these white wizards came out of a snake hole and started buttstuffin my turkey sandwich. They must have hit some gristle, cause the third one broke his dick in half and they disappeared in a puff of smoke. |
| 04.07.2000 Hark. Whose gypsy loins doth reek of fecal queef stain? Why those are mine fair maiden, for I just fucked a mule. |
| 04.06.2000 Chocolate covered cat tits. I used to know a zoo keeper named Hugo. Every day he had to shovel elephant shit, rhino shit, and tiger shit. And after work he would always go over to the sloth den and spark up a huge doobie. Lucky fuckin bastard. |
| 04.05.2000 Take a coathanger and rip a shit right out of your butthole. Eat a pile of Golden Grahms, eight pounds of granola, a half rotten prune. I’m going to get stoned and make a fuckload of corn. |
| 04.04.2000 Lately I’ve been getting that gas that kind of fries your brain. That stench like rotting egg plant and dead frogs. And it weighs a fucking ton. Just sinks down to the floor and penetrates the carpet. My house smells like one giant midget shit. |
| 04.03.2000 Weed, I’ll take it by the lungfull. Mushrooms, I’ll have two sacks. Acid, a sheet will do fine. DMT, you can back the truck up here. MDA, how much you got? |
| 03.31.2000 Well god damn. I guess we re fresh out of vented butt plugs. Don t worry though, Mrs Mulligan, we will get another shipment in on Monday. Why are we so mean to substitute teachers? Like an old lady s bowling ball tits. |
| 03.30.2000 With the swift blast of a gipsy queef, the tattered merkin dropped chaotically to the wet earth. Much to the chagrin of the munchkin butcher, this merkin lacked any real muscle and had to be sold cubed for stew. |
| 03.29.2000 A hop. A queefer. Smoke a little reefer. A skip. A jump. Hump a pile of dump. Slice the cheese. Cover in guano. Fecal matters. Rip the fuck out of that fart. “Gadzukes, he’s cornholing that chimpanzee.” |
| 03.28.2000 Quick. Hide the beagle queefs. Put the hookers in the back room and throw that ass chowder out the window. Cause we’re about to cornhole three midgets. |
| 03.27.2000 A choad skinner is when you back up a motorcycle to someones crotch, put the front brake on, and then punch the throttle till the rear tire burns up. Speed queefing is the number one cause of herneas in women over 47. |
| GROWING UP WITH LITHIUM Now my favorite sport is to get super stoned and make sushi. Corn poo hand roll, weasel tits on a bed of rice, dog poo shrimp. I wrote this script called Razor Shitz. But nothing makes you feel as good as walking around the streets of Amsterdam stoned out of your mind. |
| BUILDING A WEED PIPE Why pay market prices for a bong or rolling papers when you can build a smooth smoking, weed saving marijuana super pipe. Bart “The Turd” Shitfuck shows you how. You’ll be toking the fuck out of that crack laced bud in your new marijuana super pipe. |
| Rack of Chicken Dicks The Great Foosball Smokeout April 10, 1999 Furburger in Paradise January Vartcookie, 1999 January Vartcookie, 1999 |
speefnarkle | 
October 14, 2009 12:45 am
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