Chunder Chunder Ch Ch ChunderFUCK

Larry pounded the rest of the forty and started the truck. He drove up the hollow to Myrtle’s triple wide. She was home. Larry flipped the glove compartment and grabbed his rubbers.
Myrtle heard the door forced open. Milton didn’t. “Milt, someone’s here,” she whispered. Milt tightened his abs and blasted the rest of his shit and then pulled on his pants.
“If it’s Larry again I’m gonna kill him.”
“Don’t hurt him,” she said. “He just lost his brother.”
“I don’t care if eighty pounds of cat worms fell on his grand ma. If he’s trespassing, I’m gonna pump him full of holes.” He chambered the shotgun.
Larry walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. “I’m home honey,” he yelled. The fridge was filled. “When did you go shopping?”
Milton came out of the bedroom. “Larry. This ain’t your house no more. You and Myrtle are separated.” He sniffed the air. “You been drinking again?”
“What’s it to you? You a big man with your shot gun? You gonna shoot me?”
“I will if you come closer. Now close the fridge, put that chicken finger back and get the fuck out of here.”
“I ain’t going no where. This here’s my triple wide too. My name is on the deed. See for yourself. In fact, let’s ask Myrtle.” Larry stepped towards the bedroom.
Milton pumped the shotgun. “Larry, I’m warning you.”
“Or what? You won’t shoot me.” He walked into the bedroom. Myrtle was under the covers. “You nude sweety?”
“Larry, what are you doing here?” she said. “I told you a thousand times. We’re not together any more. Please leave.”
Milton pressed the barrel against the back of Larry’s head.
“You don’t scare me Milt.” Larry unbuckled his jeans and let them fall to the floor. “Why you cornholing this twirp, Myrtle? He’s a spineless no good. Who cares if he manages the gas station.” Larry dropped his briefs and let his dick fall to the floor.
“Larry, you put your pants back on and get the fuck out of here. This is the last time.”
Larry turned around slowly to face Milton. “Now Milt. Do you see why she’ll never give me up?” He hoisted his dick and flipped it over his shoulder.
“That thing ain’t real.”
Larry grabbed his shaft and whipped the shot gun out of Milton’s hands. Milton just stood there.
“I’m sorry babe,” said Milton. “I’m gonna be going now.”
“You can’t leave me here,” she said. “He’s drunk.”
“I’ve been drinking,” said Larry. “ But I sure ain’t drunk. I can still get a boner.” He thought real hard about his seventh grade teacher. Slowly the turgor pressure inflated his wang.
Milton ran out the door.
“Now, where were we?” said Larry.
“I hate when you get like this. Milton is a very nice man. He has manners, unlike you. He takes care of me.”
“But does he take care of you?”
“No. No one fucks like you Larry. Is that what you want me to say?”
“In a nutshell.”
“No one fucks like you. But fucking ain’t everything Larry. You have no future. We have no future together.”
Larry’s boner slowly deflated. “What do you mean we got no future. We had everything. Two TVs, this triple wide. I even got you a propane stove. What more do you need?”
“I want to see things Larry. I want to go places. I want to go to Italy and drink wine in a gondola.”
“What in the fuck is a gondola?”
“It’s a boat that you rent to make love in on the canals.”
“All we been through and you want to make love on a boat. We can do that. Just take me back baby. I need you.”
“You don’t need me Larry. You got your dick and your car. I heard you’ve been seeing Bertie Lou.”
“Who told you that?”
“And you believe her?”
“Well have you?”
“No. I went over there because her son owed money to the store. Mr. Newell sent me over there to collect it.”
“Anyway,” said Myrtle. “You can leave now.”
“Alright.” Larry pulled his briefs back on and then dropped them again. “You sure you don’t want to rumble in the jungle? I got some rubbers and wine.”
“What kind of wine?”
“It’s from France.”
Chateaux St. George?”
“No. Chateaux d’Aiguilhe. It’s a Count von Neipperg estate.”
“You know where the glasses are.”

  • By stomper, January 1, 2007 @ 2:52 pm

    Thats a real nice love story cialis. He wouldn’t have such a problem viagra if he treated her a little nicer erection pills.

  • By Mr. Newell, January 2, 2007 @ 10:41 am

    Oh, what a touching love story. Reminds me of life here in the canyon, what with the trailers, drunkerds, horse wangs and pickup trucks. It really struck a chord with me. I was stoked to see my name in there, I’m honored, Rev!

Other Links to this Post

WordPress Themes