Macho Con Pethos

I was there when they robbed the place. Those filthy losers walked in with bike chains and rip saws. I think there were four of them, though there may have been more of them outside.

As soon as I saw them come in I ducked behind the chicken roaster and pulled out my buck knife. The guy in the Sylvester Stallone mask looked straight at me but I don’t think he saw me. He pointed to the lady behind the counter and started talking to her as if he knew her. She just responded by nodding her head an then she put all the beef jerky into a bag.

The leader whistled three times and a black van with a red stripe backed up to the doorway. Randy Macho Man Savage jumped out and ran to the toilet. He was in there for probably five minutes. I heard a bunch of fart noises and then the toilet flush.

The robber in the Luchiano Pavorotti mask came up to the chicken roaster and pulled off a drumstick. I had the knife ready to stab him if I had to, but Macho opened the bathroom door and called out “Let’s ditch this fukhole and get some hookers. My puds gotta eat.”

They were gone within forty seven seconds. I grabbed two roasted chickens and a bottle of Mr. Pibb. The lady at the counter said to just take them. She would put it on Mr. Savage’s tab.

I walked home and pissed on the neighbor’s porch.

  • By Chris Dean, December 15, 2009 @ 12:25 pm

    Hey man, you pissed on my porch! It’s all good tho since you got hookers.

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