Time is a liquid.

Arthur Van Den Blastmeat

Arthur Van Den Blastmeat

Time flows in your eyes and out your butt hole. It stains your brain with skidmark memories. It launches out your dik hole. And knocks down a lamp. When the lights are out it slows down to a misty dream of brunettes on bear skin rugs.

Arthur Van Den Blastmeat had a fourteen foot bear skin rug. It drove the ladies crazy. I saw one of the tapes he made. Amazing chicks. He’s in tremendous debt though. I would hate to be him. His brother on the other hand, hasn’t been laid in fourteen months. He’s getting a hole drilled in his head so he can smoke cigarettes. Their other brother had a car wash company. I worked there for a summer and got car-washer’s elbow. Every once in a while a car load of nymphomaniacs would be returning their car and the cashier took them one by one and satisfied their thirst for thrust. His dick fell off last week.

The Van Den Blastmeat Legacy is filled with visionaries. His great brother Lidborf owned a successful wolf polishing company. The commercials ran all the time. Their uncle Slop Dick was one of the original investors in Fuky’s.

  • By Pudley Van Den Burg, October 12, 2009 @ 10:01 pm

    The Van Den Blastmeats are a bunch of lazy fucks. My great grandparents shot that fourteen foot bear. That lousy shit Art stole it out of their love parlor. You can tell because it had a hole in the ear where my great grandpa violated it repeatedly for two years straight. Stop glorifying idiots. It makes you seem like a stupid loadie turd.

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