How to Impress Dumb People

Dumb person.

Dumb person.

Do you know someone dumb that you want to impress? No? Is someone trying to impress you? Yes? You may be dumb. Do you smash your forehead into the wall more than twelve times a day? You are dumb. If you can’t read kdjsfods dfjodefuf ds fds fjosf d fdsodsjer sdjfjl. You are dumb.

Yesterday a man named Wilkinstorm approached me while I was working and asked if I wanted to buy some stamps. I noticed that he was carrying a bottle of crap whiskey in his sock. I told him I’d take that bottle for four bucks. He agreed and we poured a shot. I asked him if he wanted to impress any dumb people. He crapped on the cieling and spun down the hall.

My brother’s uncle used to collect wigs. He coated everything he owned with wig. He stole my wig collection. My brother went over there and ripped my wigs off the wall and stormed out of there and shat on the chump’s car.

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