Lunch For Wino Jim

Jeff crawled out of bed with a boner. He closed the window. A bum was yelling about potatoes in the alley below him. Jeff opened the window back up and pissed on him.
“Are you peeing?” Myrna asked. She flipped the covers off and walked to the window.
“Yeah. Jim’s going on an on about potatoes again.”
“Did you piss on him?”
“Tried to. That box he’s in is covered with wax. I told you not to put the vegetable boxes on the back porch.”
“This ought to burn through the wax.” Myrna stuck her ass out the window and firehosed a stomach full of diarrhea at Jim’s shelter.
Jim jumped out of his box. The rhea splashed everywhere but somehow missed him. He pulled a swig from his bottle. “Gawd damn Myrna, you better cork that greasy butthole before I come up there and cork it with my Hogan.”
“Open your mouth Jim. Bet you haven’t had a hot meal in weeks,” said Jeff.
Myrna pulled her ass back in the room and wiped with the curtain. “Honey, we gotta get out of this Chuck Norris motel. When the winos know me by name, it’s time to go.”
“Baby. Just one more night. As soon as I get my van back, we’ll be on the road again.”
“Good. Cause. Hey careful with that boner.”
Jim whacked at the trail of ants leading from the trash can into the television.
“One of them ants crawls up your dickhole and you can say goodbye to making love to me again.”
“Myrna. I’m just playing with them. This ain’t my trunk. I’m not an ant eater.”
“Well why don’t you wash that slab off and put it to some good use.”
“You wanna shower?”
“Let me go in there first and vacuum the roaches up. Then I’ll get the water hot for us.” Jeff walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
Myrna stuck her ass out the window again. The diarrhea fountained onto some guy’s motorcycle. “Hmm. I thought I was done.”

WordPress Themes