Lumpy's Revenge

Lumpy sat on the curb building a dam for the gutter water. He set up his army men on the top of the dam and had a couple snipers aiming down from the curb. The water came slowly. It was still three houses away. Lumpy just kept adjusting his men’s positioning.
Two bullies on BMX bikes rode up to Lumpy and pissed on his army men. The plastic figures melted in a stinky smoke. The bullies rode off laughing. All the army men had been ruined.
Lumpy went back behind his house and reached into a froghole and pulled out some ninja stars. He got dressed up in his ninja suit and opened the shed. The recumbent hydrofoil growled back at him. Lumpy strapped himself in and flipped a couple toggle switches. The hydrofoil lowered to the ground and let out some steam. Lumpy punched the accelerator and the thing took off in silence.
The two bullies were crossing the bridge over the river of chicken diarrhea. Lumpy swooped up to them and sliced their bike tires. The bigger bully dressed up like a unicycle and took off down the bridge. The other bully just sat there. Lumpy had given him an electroshock. Lumpy took off after the unicycle and finally caught up with him, but it was too late. Lumpy had flown into the bully’s home turf. Twenty more bullies surrounded him.
Lumpy pulled out a fukpile of ninja stars and started throwing them at anything that moved. There were stars flying everywhere. Three-prong, four-prong, curly ones, ones with tigers and dragons on them. A couple foam ones.
Lumpy was soon out of ninja stars and he started to take off. But one of the bullies shot him down with a bunch of frozen cauliflower. Lumpy dove off the wing into the bullies and dropped into a knee-spin. He lazered them in the dicks with his chewbakka crossbow. Then the king bully walked out of his garage with a pull-up bar. Lumpy hit a button on his cod piece. A beer seeking missle shot out his butt.

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