A Handy Tip

A handy tip for those of you who are remodeling your brain. Take one of those classes where they teach you how to sleep and eat correctly. I made the mistake of trying to do it with a book. I was too lazy to even open the cover. Everytime I had the chance to read or study, something more important always came up. I’d get a knock on the front door and the women’s field hockey team would queef my ears out. Or I’d get a package. And when I’d open it a phaser would rise out of the bottom and zap me and I’d be standing there frozen for a couple hours not able to move while the delivery man would steal my wallet and pillage my house. I’ve lost a shitload of good CDs that way. I actually lost my entire database of music. I had finally finished assimilating all my songs into the portable player and the whole collection was ripped by some assburger. A ton of my friends are now doing everyting in vapor space cause they don’t want that to happen to them. I wish I could. I think I’ll be stuck in the physical world for another couple years until I take that class I had talked about. But for now I’m pretty satisfied taking bong rips all night long while I lay in a sleeping bag on the couch.

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