In march 2002 the Pukester and I recorded this reading of the full script of Kobok Six Janitors on Acid. We did this to give us a sense of the flow of the movie. We also sent copies of this recording to the main actors to help them learn their lines. When the final version of Kobok Six comes out it will be a lot different from this reading, though it will contain a lot of the scenes from it. The reading has been devided into four audio files and this is the first of the four.
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I grew up in Texas with GW’s daughters. In fact Jenna had a crush on me or something. We lived behind GW for a while and she would fake a strip tease out her bedroom window. I would invite my friends over to egg her on. It was all innocent fun.
In junior high I started hanging out over there cause they had a sweet swimming pool. We would jump off the roof with fireworks shooting out our ass. At least my friend Kyle and I would. The girls would just watch and laugh.
One day after seeing a drug speaker at school assembly, we all went upstairs to raid the medicine cabinet. There was a ton of good shit up there. We found a bunch of Vicotin, which I’m not a big fan of. But better than that we found Doxepin. Crap on a stick! That stuff sent me into a parallel universe. We were all chilling outside in the sun and then it started kicking in. At first I felt like I was sliding across the concrete and then everything started bending and drooping. Barbara’s left boob was hanging down to the ground like a gorilla arm and her other one was poking out her back. Kyle’s head had inverted and he was trying to sit up but couldn’t. Jenna crawled into the house to make some grilled cheese tortillas, quesidillas I guess. The hallucinations were so intense that I was afraid to go in the water. The shit wouldn’t go away.
Eventually their dad came home and saw that we had torn into the Doxepin. Jenna had forgotten to put the bottle back. He came downstairs with a horse whip and threatened to tell our parents. Then he disappeared for a while while we came down from our trips. When he came back he was a whole different person. He was talking a million miles an hour and constantly sniffling. I asked how he could catch a cold when it was so hot outside. He just kept talking nonsense, something about a six legged cat and a backpack filled with wooden nickels.
I didn’t see much of them after that incident. Kyle and I weren’t allowed at their house. By the end of summer they had moved to some farm in central Texas. Next thing I knew that fukram was the president of the U.S.
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So we hired Morton. And so far he has worked out ok. Just don’t get him talking cause he won’t shut up. I was working late. I was just about to get out of there. I’m loading my computer into my backpack and in walks Morton.
“Did you hear that helicopter?” he said. “My best friend’s brother is a helicopter pilot. He’s rich. I guess helicopter pilots make a shitload of money.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Yeah. You ever smoke that shit from Humbolt?”
“Sure. Why you got some?”
“Nope. But I know where we could get some?”
“Larry’s locker. I have a skeleton key.”
“Thats not cool.”
“He won’t even notice. We’ll just take it from the bottom of the sack and fill it with styrofoam peanuts. He’ll think his dealer stiffed him.”
“Actually I have to get home, but if its quick, I could use a couple rips before I cruise.”
So we broke into Larry’s locker and grabbed a handful of weed. Mort and I split it fifty fifty. And we rolled the shake into a monster joint. Mort sparked it up and passed it. I tore into the joint and smoked it down to my thumb and then clipped it and finished it off.
Mort was kind of pissed that I powered the whole thing down so I rolled him another out of my share. He ripped through that one and than blasted another two more and then got back to shining the floor.
I had to fly home and I was going out of my mind. I got on my trike and let it warm up. You know when you are standing there taking a piss but you are so fucked up that you have to support yourself with your forehead on the wall. Well I was twice as fucked up as that. I tilted the cycle back and strapped myself in. I punched the ignition and I heard this terrible scream. And I take off out into space. Needless to say I was lucky I made it home. I found out the next day that when I started the rockets, I burned up Morton’s sack of grass. He had left it on the tarmac.
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